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"You can tell Depp is supposed to be an astronaut because he speaks with a Texas accent and his hair is dyed blond. And you can tell that when Spencer impregnates his wife, Jillian Charlize Theron: The Cider House Rules, Mighty Joe Young, after a night of rough sex, she is pregnant with something evil, because shes got Mia Farrows haircut from Rosemarys Baby. If you had long given up on your childhood dreams of space travel, this is reassuring. You’re unlikely to pass Nasa’s requirements for

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